Let It In

Love is what I have always wanted… but it’s knocking at my door in the middle of the night and I am terrified to answer it.

I know love when I see it. And I see it consuming him. It’s just quite intimidating to me. I don’t know how to handle myself.

Love is finally here for me and I am afraid to let it in.

This is what I wanted.

This is what I want.

So why am I so fucking afraid of it?

How do I make sure I don’t blow it?

I don’t know if I’m ready for this,

I think I’m going to try and run away.

Will the rest of my life just be me infinitely wishing for love and sending it away?

No,

I can’t let it be.

I have one life to live, and I’ve been dying since I got here.

I’d rather pain than nothing,

Over longing.

Love has come barging in, and it’s caught me off guard.

I’d never realized the guard I had up until somebody had gotten through.

Suddenly I feel violated, though I haven’t been.

I will not let this pass me by.

I have waited for this.

I deserve this.

I’m going to just let my guard down, be vulnerable,

and afraid,

And let it in.