Finally

It’s been a good while since I’ve written in this old thing. I just kind of wanted to report how amazing life is.

Moving to the city early was the best decision I’ve ever made. It was so worth it. I have made such incredible friends here, and now my best friends from home live here too. So I’ve got Alexa, Ireland, Abby, Brandi, the whole ‘gang’. My heart is so fucking happy.

The other night I went to Crystal Crescent with Lexi, Bekah, and Cass. I brought my telescope, we skinny dipped, had a few drinks and saw bio-luminescent plankton in the water. If you’ve never seen that before, just imagine the sky in the sea. And then add a clear sky above it. It was one of those nights you take in to remember forever. Then, we saw ten shooting stars. Right above our heads while we laid on the beach with pillows and blankets. It felt so magical that I felt almost uneasy. It was just out of my comfort zone to experience such wander as deeply and wholly as I did in that moment.

I wished on the shooting stars. I used to pray to God, (I still do, sometimes,) and to the stars, but I have never had the chance to wish on a real shooting star. I automatically went to ask/wish for love, like I always do, but this time I wished for happiness instead, for me and the amazing girls who were with me. I, of course, kept love in mind too, but the wish was more of a. ‘Let me be genuinely happy, and if I find love that’s a plus’ kind of thing.

Like with every other prayer I have made that has been answered, I think it could have been the universe or my mindset at the time that’s brought it to life. Maybe a week later, I met a boy.

I feel like I have known him for longer than I have, since we first started talking. My heart knows his.

My embrace knows his.

He gets better and better, and not in the way that I had built guys up in my head then run away, I’m just calm and comfortable. I wasn’t even nervous to meet him. I asked him not to let me run if I get scared and he said, “I’m not gonna give up on you.” and just held me tighter.

I think it may finally be my turn. I know that romantic relationships aren’t everything, but I feel in my soul that there is someone missing from it, and I think that falling in love, with anything, a book, the stars, the world, a painting, a person, is the kind of feeling that makes life worth living. I have a really good feeling this time. This is not a false alarm!!!!

It’s happening, journal, finally! My heart is so fucking happy. Not just because of him. Because of myself, the connections I have made here, the relationships I have built with these amazing people, my accomplishments, how far I have come.

Xo, Nads