Your Love

I don’t believe that there is some soulmate out there waiting for you.

I believe that there are people you fall in love with. It’s a nice gesture and all, and maybe to some extent it’s true. But I think most people take it the wrong way.

Not just anyone can be your forever love.

First- you need to fall in love with them. They need to fall in love with you, too. A big part of this whole theory of mine is that it must all be mutual. You can fall in love with a lot of people. So, just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t make them your soulmate, your forever love, or the love of your life - no matter how hard you want them to be or how strongly you believe it at the time. Some people will fall in love a lot. For some it is a never ending cycle of their lives ending and beginning again. For some it leaves them hopeless that love is even real, or that they will never find their (real) person.

In my opinion, the reality is that they haven’t found someone worth all of the following, or someone who can/wants to/is capable of doing the same. It maybe draining, it may seem hopeless, but this is the way I see it; no matter how painful the end of a love inevitably feels, to love and be loved is the greatest gift in the world, and just because they weren’t ‘the one’ to make it, if the love was real it always will be and it’s always worth it. It’s beautiful nonetheless.

Okay, so you’ve fallen in love. So has your partner.

For some, that is as far as it goes. But this one is different. Be it your first or fifth love, here is the second thing.

You choose them.

We don’t have much say in who we fall in love with, do we? You’re interested in them, sure, but then something happens and all of a sudden you are in love. And sometimes we don’t even like the person we are in love with. You have to like them, love them, and choose them. It has to be a conscious decision outside of those rose-tinted glasses. A fully conscious decision that you love them, and you want it to stay that way. You want it so bad that you choose to keep choosing them every day. You don’t just stop when they do something that annoys you or has a hiccup. Or when maybe they make a bigger mistake. You’ve made that choice and you aren’t going to stop. (Keep in mind I am not encouraging unhealthy, toxic or abusive relationships, the relationship I am speaking of is one in which you both love each other genuinely so much that you would choose them over anything and become the best version of yourself for them, compromise for them).

You know, on your own, you have bad days. Things you don’t particularly like about yourself. Something you’re ashamed of. A mistake you’ve made, or multiple. Here’s the thing: unless you want to be miserable, you don’t have much of a choice to hold a grudge against yourself, put yourself down or not to forgive yourself by understanding what went wrong, learning the lesson, and growing from it. To better the parts of yourself you don’t like so much. To make a change when you are restless, and if you’re smart, to invest in yourself.

And you didn’t exactly choose yourself.

But they did.

And you chose them, so how is it any different?

That’s the beauty of it. You choose them, and they choose you. You control what you can and cannot compromise on, and a bonus - you’ve got two whole minds, two whole hearts, two whole souls with the knowledge of two whole lives full of lessons, stories, memories. Two of each, for when one of you needs extra. Two of each for when things get tough.

You keep choosing each-other. Yeah, there is a lot more to it than that - maybe you need a break, a reality check, maybe you reach a time where you don’t want to anymore, sometimes you get so far into choosing each-other when one, or both, of you decide to stop.

The reality is that - the one, your soulmate, your lasting, forever love, your person… is the love that never stops. That always comes back to choosing each-other. The one that fills your mind, your heart and your soul with so much love, so much magic… that even though it gets really, really hard sometimes, it’s never a chore. Because it makes you happy. You want it, you invest in it, you work for it. You compromise for it. You put your pride aside for it. Your ego out the window. Your fear down the drain.

Because you truly want it.

You choose it.

It’s your choice.

That's

Your

Love.